So, in the realization that I'm actually a grown-up and I have to actually function as one for the rest of my life, I've been trying to break a lot of my bad habits, like biting off parts of my body and making assumptions about people and stuff. Mostly, I'm trying to get my shit together. My progress.

• Laundry: I do my laundry about once every six to eight weeks. That's how many pairs of socks I have. In the summer, I can go longer because I don't have to wear socks everyday and I have more underwear than socks. All I'm trying to pull off there is do it before it gets absolutely desperate. I did have to wear Christmas socks one day this week, but I still had a few pairs of unworn tights, so I could have just gotten by wearing skirts for another week. (I have done this; I have a lot of skirts.)


• Chronic messiness: Last week, a boy came to pick me up for a date, and he had to come into my room, which was full of clothes lying around everywhere. There weren't bras strewn everywhere or dirty underwear or anything, so it wasn't the most embarrassing, but there were still just sweaters and pants and stuff all over everywhere. I'd been trying, but mostly failing to get it cleaned up for about a month. He liked me anyway, but it was still not the best impression to make on a second date. This week, as procrastination while I was supposed to be doing homework but was too hyper, I picked everything up and you can see the wood tile floor of my beautiful room. Next step: clean my desk and table so I can use them as more than book and paper depositing surfaces. Also, I still have a big stack of library books on the floor for this essay.


• Eating better: Last semester there were two problems with my diet. One that it was based mostly on eggs and cheese. My doctor told me at Christmas that my cholesterol was actually a little high. I'm twenty. That's just not right. Two, that I'd often just eat one meal a day. And it would naturally be huge and involve mostly animal fats. Then I'd be starving and go get takeout in the middle of the night. This is unhealthy and expensive. So, I've taken to getting up for breakfast and eating toast or bagels and fruit and coffee and two glasses of juice. I'm habitually eating at least two, often three, more or less healthy meals a day. I've been at the meal hall a lot too, which has actually resulted in my eating less. I even think I've lost some weight.


• Not exercising: I spend a lot of time sitting. I sit in class and doing homework. I sit socially, either eating or drinking or seeing things performed. My favourite hobbies are reading and writing and watching movies, all of which are sitting-based activities. Sitting less is a good goal, I think. I actually went for a swim for the first time since this summer yesterday. I feel pretty good. My muscles are all stiff from renewed use. I love that feeling. Let's see if I keep it up.


• Not taking care of my skin: Last semester, in my whole shrinking-away-from-the-world thing, I took a pretty casual approach to cleansing and moisturizing my face, thinking it didn't really make that much of a difference. It wasn't that I stopped, I just sort of washed it whenever I showered and quit moisturizing. I've started moisturizing twice daily again and its made a huge difference in my skin's level of softness and healthiness.


• Procrastinating: I had a big paper due on Wednesday, but I knew I wasn't going to be able to finish it Tuesday night, so I worked on it all weekend and had almost all of it drafted by Monday. As a result, I got to go on a date after my eight-hours-of-class Tuesday instead of frantically typing things in the library. It was amazing not to be panicked about an assignment. However, I have a huge research paper due Thursday and I've spent a lot of time talking about how much I have to do on it and doing my laundry and going swimming and writing posts about personal improvement and stuff. Success: mixed.

That list could have other items, like being less antisocial and getting past neurotic hangups and dimestore psychology about my fear of being happy, and other things I'm still working on, like drinking more water and taking vitamins everyday. But, it's getting better all the time.