OH. EM. GEE. I just watched a teeny-tiny version of the new Beyoncé video (here). I can't wait to see the whole thing. I love the red lip gloss and the fur and the curled hair and the silhouettes and Usher in that silly hat. And the (admittedly cut to cover up for B's limited dancing abilities) bit with the giant champagne glass. So hot. I can't wait to see the full-size version on TV. (I watched MuchMusic intermittently for a couple days but I never saw it and all that happened was I got that Blink 182 Halloween on Christmas song in my head.) Confession: I downloaded RealPlayer for the express purpose of seeing this video.

I am resolutely heterosexual, but if Beyoncé were willing (in some alternate reality where she would let me touch the hem of her (sparkly) garment) I would absolutely have sex with her. I have never felt this way about a female celebrity before, though in high school I felt with strong conviction that if a young Gene Kelly somehow time-travelled to the future and proposed to me, I would marry him, no questions asked.

It's too bad I can't get a job where I watch Beyoncé videos all day.

Hey, remember when I used to be marginally less shallow and posted about things that were going on in my life and name-dropped all the cool, intelligent things I was into, or at least not just about The O.C. and hip-hop and R&B? Yeah, I don't know what happened there either. I promise I still listen to music that's not lame. Went to a 4½ hour opera on Tuesday. Reading Tender Is the Night. So much incest. You'd much rather hear about my underinformed, half-ironic "fixation"* with Beyoncé, I promise.

*Not my word, whatever.