I am trying to get into a creative writing course. This involves having an actual portfolio, with pieces of fiction. I had forgotten why I stopped writing fiction. The words "You are a hack, you can't write" pretty much run through my head the whole time. I feel like everything I write is so presumptuous and pretentious and that anyone who reads it will see through me and laugh that I thought I could get into a university writing course with this tripe.

But do or die, right?

To end on a positive note: one of my favourite things is when you show someone one your favourite movies, a movie you've watched a thousand times and know all the dialogue to, which you can't believe they've never seen. As each punchline approaches, you watch expectantly, hoping they'll laugh at all the right funny parts because at this point watching the movie is for you is all about familiarity, so the fun of the experience is enjoying them enjoying it.