These facts should give you a good idea of my life right now:

Monday night, I had half a box of President's Choice Mac and Cheese (not even Kraft Brand Kraft Dinner) and half an $8.50 bottle of white zin.

Last night, I bought Wal-Mart's second cheapest fan.

This afternoon at 12:30, I was sitting in my pajamas eating waffles and watching Saved by the Bell.

Then, I screwed up my computer even worse.

I am considering taking a job telemarketing, if I can get it.

That's all folks.