"I'm sorry I've been so mopey lately. It can't be very much fun to listen to me whine."
"So now you feel bad about feeling bad? You're feeling bad twice about the same thing."
"I know, and that just makes me feel worse. It's self-perpetuating."

After displaying my most defeatist side and explaining how every so often the worst possible thing in a specific area of your life does happen, I lucked into two sales in the first hour of work this morning, which covered my whole day's telemarketing quota. In other words, I'm not fired yet.

It's not so bad, I get to talk to people all over the country every day.

"Bonjour?"
"Parlez-vous anglais?"
"Non."
"Non? Alors, vous probablement ne voulez pas un journal en anglais..."
"Non, au revoir."
"Merci beaucoup, au revoir."

(This is me trying to see the bright side.)